I was bored so you would not believe what I did! (clickbait style)

shocked_face

I was so bored today you would not believe what I ended up doing!

No, seriously, you would not believe it! Or, if you know me, you probably would.

Three times today I have been approached by scammers trying to get my personal information.  The first time they texted me I was rather leery, but thought I would play along for a little bit.

The first one to text me was from telephone number (240) 270-1725.

Scammer2-1 Scammer2-2 Scammer2-3 Scammer2-4

Well this person never contacted me again by text so I called the number from my cell phone, and the call was rejected.  Apparently I was blocked.

I then decided to call the number from one of my business lines (Google Voice).  It rang, and rang, and rang, and then went to a Google Voice voicemail.  I did not leave a message but within two minutes I received a text message on that line from telephone number (816) 200-1444.  The short conversation goes as follows:

Scammer3-1 Scammer3-2

Obviously there was no reply back, so I tried to call the number and again it was rejected. Oh well, fun over.

But was it?

In less than on hour I contacted by telephone number (770) 737-1696 with a text message that said:

“Good day JON EDENS,I hope you are doing great! I am Mrs.Serah Curtis, one of the hiring manager of (The Kanoo Group), I am contacting you in regards of your resume posted Let me know once you get this…”

Scammer1 Scammer2 Scammer3

And here is my conversation on Google Hangouts:

ME: All right

KANOOGROUPAUE: Hello

KANOOGROUPAUE: I believe you are ready for the job Briefing and Interview?

ME: Yes, I suppose so

KANOOGROUPAUE: Good let’s get started..I want you to know that your quick response is highly appreciated OK ?

ME: Alright, as fast as my fingers will work

KANOOGROUPAUE: THE POSITIONS AVAILABLE ARE : Data entry,office assist,admin clerk,Front desk,sales manager,sales rep,auditing,book keeping,customer care,health care,Marketing, insurance,Executive assist ,payroll clerk,medical biller, dispatcher, vocational rehabilitation counselor,  vocational case manager,medical case manager, case management supervisor, typist clerk,Program Manager,maintenance, Compliance/Risk Manager, Pension Manager, Project Development ,Receptionist and Front desk, Human Resources Manager, and IT jobs.. positions,others etc

KANOOGROUPAUE: Which are you interested in ?

ME: I have done all of those, so not sure. Give me a moment

ME: Compliance/Risk Manager

I believe you can handle some Data Entry and Executive assist if trained ?

ME: Yes

KANOOGROUPAUE: Excellent ..I’m Mrs. Serah Curtis and i am One of the hiring manager of (The Kanoo Group). I am responsible for expanding the venture portfolio of the company and in charge of briefing you about the job position you are yet to occupy and about the company.

KANOOGROUPAUE: What are your full Names, Sex, Age and where are you located?

ME: Um, you have all that information already from my resume you said you had

KANOOGROUPAUE: Yes this is just for verification purpose

ME: Jon Edens, male, 26, Houston [*NOTE* The information I gave was purposefully wrong to see if they had even looked at my resume, which they obviously had not]

KANOOGROUPAUE: The name of the company is The Kanoo Group and this is the Company Website (www.kanoogroup.com).Justfollow the briefing and you can ask questions when i am through. Let me know when you have finished reading every line. You will be allowed to ask questions later.With each line just respond with an OK or YES…Okay?

ME: ok

KANOOGROUPAUE: The Kanoo Group is one of the most diversified and successful conglomerates in the UAE with interests in shipping, travel, machinery, logistics, property, oil and gas, power, chemicals, engineering, training, information technology and industrial activities. Add to that Kanoo’s joint ventures with internationally renowned names in the service and industrial sectors such as AXA Gulf, Maersk, BASF, Murray & Roberts, Mitsui OSK Lines, American Express, Akzo Nobel, Freightworks, Johnson Arabia, Cranes Software, International Paints, KCI, Sykes Australia and it is easy to understand the group’s phenomenal success in the region.

KANOOGROUPAUE: The Kanoo Group has been a master of all trades.The Kanoo Group is one of the largest independent, family-owned group of companies in the Gulf region with products and services, training and a whole lot more.Operating throughout Saudi Arabia, Bahrain, UAE, Oman, Qatar, Yemen,Iraq and soon the United State of America, The Kanoo Group sets the pace for progress and development in the entire Gulf region.

ME: ok

KANOOGROUPAUE: We are currently working on setting up more branches thats why we are employing online, but when the new office near you is ready you can be assign to one of them that is if you qualify after the interview…

KANOOGROUPAUE: The closest office location to you will be completed estimated three months from now. The position and job done for now will be done from home till the office is completed  and: As soon as you are confirmed qualified, the company will provide you with complete office equipments to setup a mini office at home. You will be assigned to the nearest office as soon as its completed, but that is if you are confirm qualified and accepted for this position… Okay ?

ME: ok

KANOOGROUPAUE: The skills and experience on your resume would be a valuable asset to our company. Under your region for now we have 47 Full time/Part time employees, 25 Flexible Contract workers and 9 Superior Officers. The Flexible Contract workers are known as the Younger Workers and there training will last for one month, due to they only have the necessary skills, but lack the needed experience. Your training will last for just one weeks due to you already have the required skills and experience

KANOOGROUPAUE: We have three working sections which are ( Morning, Evening and Full day ).. The Morning section begins from 8am-1pm, Evening section 2pm-7pm, Full day section cover’s both Morning and Evening sections with one hour break between 1pm and 2pm, Monday to Friday. You are to choose a convenient section weekly…Okay?

ME: ok

KANOOGROUPAUE: This is an Office/ Online and work from home job the working hours are flexible and you can chose to work from anywhere of your choice

KANOOGROUPAUE: Our Goal is to help our clients achieve success. We do this because of our complete focus and commitment on quality You will be working online from home for now, the working hours are flexible and you can choose to work from anywhere of your choice, the pay is $30 per hour training is $15 per hour and will get payment weekly via check or direct deposit. Working 30 to 40 hours weekly, if you are considered for this position you will be working as a full employee and not an independent contractor..Okay?

ME: ok

KANOOGROUPAUE: Benefits: Health, Dental, Life and AD&D Insurance, Employee Wellness and 401k plans.Paid Time Off and Holidays with Generous Company Discounts…..That counts after working 90 days with the Company..Okay?

ME: ok

KANOOGROUPAUE: RESPONSIBILITIES/DUTIES: Heavy Data entry/administrative tasks Updating client information in computer system Running and processing multiple documents utilizing Microsoft Word, Excel, and Access Inputting purchase orders Other various administrative tasks,Inputs information from a variety of sources into a computer database.

KANOOGROUPAUE: May take customer orders and enter them into a pre-established tracking system Assignments will be sent to you via e-mail or IM and you will report directly to your immediate supervisor…Can you handle these duties?

ME: That doesn’t sound like the job description for what I mentioned at the beginning of the conversation, but I suppose so.

ME: I have done much more rigorous work than that

KANOOGROUPAUE: Good ..This section of the interview is called question  and answer section. You are required to use  your own words structure in answering all  questions, also you’re to end every answer  with (DONE) ,Letting me know so i can  proceed with my next question. Understood?

ME: Understand

KANOOGROUPAUE:

  • Have you ever had any experience working from home or online before ?
  • Are you currently employed ?
  • Will you be able to devote 5 hours of your time to Our company ?that is if you are given the chance to work with us ?

[*NOTE*  Since they said they wanted me to answer in my own words, and to mess with them, I replied to their queries in Welsh]

ME: 1. Ie

ME: 2.  Hunan-gyflogedig

ME: 3. Ie

ME: (Done)

KANOOGROUPAUE:

  • What do you understand by privacy and code of conduct ?
  • In your current or last position, what were your most significant accomplishments ? In your career so far ?
  • How hard working and productive will you be for our company when you start working with us ?

ME: Gallwch calrigy y cwestiwn cyntaf?

ME: Sorry, can you clarify the first question?

KANOOGROUPAUE: What is the meaning of privacy and code of conduct ?

ME: 1. Mae cod ymddygiad cyffredin ei ysgrifennu ar gyfer gweithwyr o gwmni , sy’n amddiffyn y busnes ac yn hysbysu’r cyflogeion o ddisgwyliadau’r cwmni. Mae’n ddelfrydol ar gyfer hyd yn oed y lleiaf o gwmnïau i ffurfio dogfen sy’n cynnwys gwybodaeth bwysig ar ddisgwyliadau ar gyfer gweithwyr. [*NOTE* My own words, copied and pasted from Wikipedia]

ME: 2. Yn fy swydd flaenorol, roeddwn yn gallu i ddod i lawr dair gorfforaethau mawr ar gyfer gweithgareddau fraudulant , yn gweithio gyda’r atwrnai cyffredinol a OIG i ddod i lawr gwmnïau twyll Medicare. [*NOTE* My answer was basically I helped the feds bring down two large corporations for fraud as well as expose medicare fraud.  Did not seem to phase them even then]

ME: 3. Rwyf wedi profi dro ar ôl tro fy hun i fod yn gynhyrchiol iawn.

ME: (DONE)  [*NOTE* Obviously the fact I was answering in a language that is statically unused, only about 1 million speakers worldwide, did not phase them]

KANOOGROUPAUE:

  • How long would you expect to work for us if hired?
  • Can you work under pressure?
  • Where do you see yourself five years from now?
  • Do you have a printer, scanner and fax machine?

ME: 1. Gallaf weithio i chi cyhyd ag y bydd angen i mi .

ME: 2. Rwyf bob amser wedi gweithio dan pressureas gallwch weld gan fy ailddechrau.

ME: 3. Pum mlynedd o hyn rwy’n gweld fy hun yn gweithio lle bynnag yr wyf yn gweithio .

ME: 4. Ie

KANOOGROUPAUE:

  • How would you like to be Paid ? Weekly Or Bi-Weekly
  • What means of Payment do you prefer ? Check OR Direct Deposit ?
  • What is the name of your Bank you Operate with to see if it tallies with the company’s official salary payment account That is needed for documentation and NOTE that the company is not asking for your bank Information but the name of your bank.

ME: 1. Wythnosol

ME: 2. Blaendal direct

ME: 3. Banc Cmmercial o Dubai

ME: (DONE)

KANOOGROUPAUE: You have done well so far and you seem like a perfect fit for this position.

KANOOGROUPAUE: I need you to hold on online because i need to forward our conversation to the Head Dept to enable them see if you are committed and good for this job. I need you to hold back online… Understood.?

ME: Understand

ME: Helo , a ydych yn dal i fod yno?

KANOOGROUPAUE: Yes i am

KANOOGROUPAUE: Your result is not yet out

KANOOGROUPAUE: Hello

KANOOGROUPAUE: I am back now and i have the result for the interview on my desk

ME: ok

KANOOGROUPAUE: CONGRATULATION…… Your performance ensured you had a good score eligible for enrollment into our weekly routine training programme. You scored 7.5 out of a possible 10 , This is to confirm that you have been approved to be a staff of Kanoo Group.Having reached the requirements, passed the interview and recommended for the Job by the Board of Directors on employment.Also they will put you through our company’s guidelines under US human Resources Laws and Regulations.

ME: ok

KANOOGROUPAUE: You will receive your duties online everyday and i will always be online to assist you with any difficulties Your Primary duties include: Preparation of Balance sheets (Mini), account balancing, invoicing recording,proper data analysis of sales records and recording pay slips into accounting database.

KANOOGROUPAUE: Secondary duties: Now, your secondary daily duties would be to report to your Supervisor, who would be attached to you online, He/She would assign logs of duty daily and you would be required to work according to instructions, using the Microsoft Office tools and the Accounting software.

KANOOGROUPAUE: Can you handle the Job duties if you are being trained towards it?

ME: Ie. Iawn, felly pwy yno yn siarad Cymraeg [Yes. Ok, so who there speaks Welsh?]

ME: Ie

ME: Yes

KANOOGROUPAUE: You will be undergoing a week training and orientation which will commence as soon as you have all working materials and you are rest assured that you will be paid for it You will be mailed your Employment Offer Letter and a HR document which will be coming along with your working materials during your orientation and training,you are required to read, fill, sign and send back to us our copy Employment Offer Letter as soon as you are done…Okay?

ME: Sorry, English is not my primary language

ME: ok

ME: Can you email it to me?

KANOOGROUPAUE: It will be mailed out to you via FedEx along with your working materials

ME: ok

KANOOGROUPAUE: In the mean time i need you provide me with the following requested info

Name :
Address : (PO Box not valid)
City :
State :
Zipcode:
Cell # :
E-mail address:

KANOOGROUPAUE: so that my secretary can register you on the Company Database, Once done let me know.

[*NOTE* Now the above is obviously a ploy to get my information so they can work the bank account and credit thing.  I thought I would help them out.]

ME: Jon Edens,  61 Riesner St, Houston, TX 77002, (713) 247-5400, jon.edens@gmail.com… [*NOTE* The address and phone number I gave them is to the Houston Police Department, and the email I made up]

ME: But you should have all that at the top of my resume

KANOOGROUPAUE: This is to update the Company Database ..You will need some Data entry/Accounting software  to commence your training and orientation and also you need the software to get started with work…this is an online work from home.

KANOOGROUPAUE: Here are the name’s of the software’s you will need to start working with are: Intuit QuickBooks Accounting Software,Sage Simply Accounting Accounting Software,Peachtree Complete Accounting Software,AccountEdge Accounting Software for Windows,AccountEdge Accounting Software for Mac,Sage 50 Premium Accounting 2013 (formerly Simply Accounting),Business 2Go software,Bookkeeper software,QuickBooks Pro 2012 software,The General Ledger,software,9.5,Bottom Line Accounting software,Balance Sheet Basics software…Affymetrix version MAS 5 (5.0, 5.1), GCOS (1.0, 1.1),dChip 1.3 GenePix version 3.0, 4.1, and 5.0 NimbleScan version 2.1.16 SpotReader version 1.0

KANOOGROUPAUE: Agilent version A.6.1.1, A.7.1.1 and A.7.1.2

KANOOGROUPAUE: Are you familiar with any of these software’s ?

ME: I have used all of them

ME: Or, most of them

ME: Felly pwy yno yn siarad Cymraeg? [*NOTE* Again I asked them who there speaks Welsh]

KANOOGROUPAUE: Great! .Your Training supervisor will contact you once you have received your working materials..The funds for the software/working materials which include (HP Hybrid laptop with a fast internet connection) will be provided for you by the company via check, make sure you use them as instructed for the software and i will refer you to the vendor you are to purchase them from Okay?

ME: Iawn, felly pwy yno yn siarad Cymraeg???

ME: I have a couple questions for you though, regarding this interview and job

KANOOGROUPAUE: Your Training supervisor will contact you once you have received your working materials.Okay?

KANOOGROUPAUE: Alright

ME: Who there speaks Welsh?

KANOOGROUPAUE: Your Training supervisor will contact you once you have received your working materials.Okay?

ME: felly pwy yno yn siarad Cymraeg?

KANOOGROUPAUE: Bydd eich goruchwyliwr Hyfforddiant yn cysylltu â chi unwaith y byddwch wedi derbyn eich materials.Okay gweithio ? [*NOTE* WE HAVE A WINNER!!! Google Translate]

ME: Iawn… And next, if you have my resume, then why did you accept the address to the Houston Police Department as my address?

ME: And accept an email address that is not on my resume?

ME: Helo?

Message not delivered.

ME: Helo?

Message not delivered.

kanoogroupuae@gmail.com may not be on Hangouts right now. Your messages will be seen later.

So at that point my fun ended. Jeez.  I tried to contact them back but to no avail.  I think my telephone number and Google account have been blocked by them.

So what have you done with scammers or other irritating folks?

One thought on “I was bored so you would not believe what I did! (clickbait style)”

  1. Not near as much fun as this lol…..I just tell them I work for the FBI and if they call me my phone traces their location and eventually they will be apprehended.

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